Fly! I want a dozen rabbits, two dozen mice and a quart of flies," said a man who walked into a livestock deal er's shop. The dealer asked what he wanted the flies f or. " Well," he said, " I'm leaving a house I took furnished, and it is part of my contract to leave the place as

IF you were offered a seat, without fighting for it, on your town council would you take it ? Probably not . . . But if you were offered a seat in Parliament you probably would. Just to be an M.P. Even if you never spoke (like most M.P.$). Yet borough council, parish council, co

Motherhood has gained a new dis- tinction Nowadays it is like the Platypus* (rarest of Australian animals). . It is in danger of dying out. THAT remark belongs to Dame Enid Lyons, wife of Australia's Prime Minister, herself mother of eleven children. She made it to the Women's I

Derek Sund ankles are aching this to Streatham Ice Rink the first time in five years p' 4/) 4 <* i it and picks up one of the others. Tiith Tangye's I learned abou.t FRIENDSHIP from Patricia Hißyer. Here she is be- . tween Lorna To-day he's still thinking about the Beed and Stell

Geraldine House, Fetter-lane, E.C.4. Holborn 4321. Adelphi Chambers, 30, Brown - street, Manchester. Blackfriars 2185-6-7-8-9.

THERE'S no place like nome. when there's nowhere else to go. That is the view of the young people of Sheffield. They favour hotels and taverns in North Derbyshire for their week-end dances and parties. North Derbyshire licensing magistrates con sider applications for extended ho

Accrington Bradford City Carlisle Chester Doncaster Halifax Rochdale Rotherham Southport Tranmere York P. W. D. Pts. P. W. D. Pts. Tranmere .. 29 17 5 39 Rochdale . 30 11 6 28 Rotherham 30 16 6 38 Port Vale .. 30 9 9 27 Lincoln .... 28 15 7 37 Halifax .... 28 9 8 26 Hull Oldham

THE DAIL AL MALE reveals Speed. way plans, gives you a close-up on the coming campaign, says:.-‘ H ! . . . waitress . . . may I have the bill, please ? Thanks. .. . You look happy. . . What's that you say ? When is speedway starting ? You're just waiting for the opening night ?

Three aways out of four ? Bet it was Arsenal let you down, but don't start saying things about the Gunners. Rather award a medal of merit to Portsmouth, who are playing better football than we expect from a team at the foot of the table. What about Grimsby ? Can't say we didn't